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Question: Can i have some ones opinion on this poem!?!?
ok im 14!. i wrote this poem!.!.!.!.just wondered who liked it and who didnt!.
i hold the blade against my wrist
as i feel the high
im clenching my fist
blood falls into tears
and those tears hit the floor
everythings gone
even the fears!.
all because of you
i do this
just to get the bliss
of what it feels like
to be alright
to feel numb without you on my mind
like theres something more to find
as i hold my wrist
it comes to me
the time when we last kissed
but now your gone
and nothings alright
so i lay here at night
gazing at the stars
with nothing but scarsWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think it is very descriptive of the mindset of a cutter, and this makes up for the repetition (which in general, I despise!.)
Keep up the good work, and if you are cutting, it is a good thing to keep talking about it to people!. Try telling some face2face ones though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's a good poem since it is very expressive, and descriptive!.
But you don't have any metaphors, and it's not very original!.
By the way, don't cut yourself, no one is worth it!.
For a 14 year old it's good though!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is a very good poem!.!.
everything flows great!
but are you speaking on behalf of yourself!?
take care!Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's not a joyful poem, but I love the "nothing but scars!.!.!." finishing line!
Nice job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well, this poem is nice but sad!. Is this going to be a series or just won of those poems that just came to mind!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
May I tweak it a little!?
I hold the blade against my wrist
I feel the high
My clenching fists
Blood falls to tears
The tears to the floor
The world is gone
The fears are no more!.
You
are why I do this!.
Just for the bliss
To feel what it's like
To be alright!.
To feel numb
With you left behind!.
Like there's something I'll find!.
As I hold my wrist
I can see
When we last kissed!.
You are gone!.
I am wrong!.
Nothing is alright!.
I am alone in this night!.
Gazing at the stars
With nothing but scars!.
I'm sorry if I ruined it for you, but I prefer it this way!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com