Last night, I held onto your pillow!.!.!.
but it didn't feel the same though!.
I lay awake for hours in your t-shirt,
but my stomach still ached and my heart still hurt!.
I listened to our song and sobbed till my head spun
but even still after all that, I wasn't done!.
I got up and looked for hours at photos from our past,
found the most recent one,and tried to picture it as our last!.
I watched our son sleep and tried to imagine us alone,
and I tried so hard to pick up and dial you on the phone!.
I start to count the reasons why I want this to work out,
afterall, isn't that what love and marriage is all about!?
I replayed words over and over, fumbling them in my head
Trying to remember all the appologetic things that you said
I tried to be strong and pretend It wasn't really that bad
I thought about all our time together and all the fun we've had!.
I found old love letters and read them until the sun crept in
then I faced another day where I would have do it all again!.
I fixed breakfast but couldn't eat a bite,
I smoked a cigarette, but only did it for spite!.
I finally drug myself into the shower,
just so I could cry and escape for an hour!.
I didn't do my makeup or fix my hair,
I looked like hell, but didn't really care
I flipped through a magazine, but didn't read the print
I waited for the mail,the romantic card you never sent
I watched cars drive by but none of them were you
I asked God outloud what he thought I should do
I told you not to call, but I checked my cell phone just in case
I wished I had never told you to give me time and space
If you could just come home to me, maybe I could stop this crying
Maybe if I would leave you!.!. you would stop your lying
But I can't face life without you, as much as I would like to be strong
We have been together for years,and I know together is where we belong
A lie is a Lie and it can't be changed and it can't be excused
but as long as our vowels aren't broken they can stand to be abused!.
They say what don't kill us makes us stronger and that life was made to live
So against my better judgement I have decided to let go and learn to forgive!.
Thanks a lot for reading, and for anyones suggestions or pointers or ideas for getting noticed!. Thanks!Www@QuestionHome@Com