Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> What do you think of this poem type thing I did?lovevsmarrige?


Question: What do you think of this poem type thing I did!?lovevsmarrige!?
Its based on my parents so if you dont agree, its ok! lol

Love vs Marrige

Love is holding hands in the street!.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street!.

Love is cuddling on a sofa!.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa!.

Love is talking about having children!.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children!.

Love is going to bed early!.
Marriage is going to sleep early!.

Love is losing your appetite!.
Marriage is losing your figure!.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear!.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank!.

TV has no place in love!.
Marriage is a fight for remote control!.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws!.
Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You must, must, must read Ambrose Beirce!. He was a priest, who wrote in the early 1900's!. His books are classics!.*

You are very clever and very witty, and you really have a great knack!.!.!. I can't think of a better word!.

It's a wit, like Wilde's, or Ogden Nash's or Dorothy Parker's; it's a humorously cynical look at things, and it works!. It's not really poetry, but so what!? I think you could make it more a poem with little changes in form!. I'd like to see that!. It would take so little!. For example, instead of "Love vs Marriage," which is kinda clinical, I would find the tongue-in-cheek title of "Love and Marriage" to be more witty, and then to continue from there, something like Love:!.!.!.!., then Marriage!.!.!.!., instead of each one having to be Love Is, and marriage is!. Do you see the difference!. Make it more off the cuff, more casual; we get the depth from the words, so I think it makes the poem sophisticated to be casual in the form!. ("The Bronx!. No thonx!." that kind of feel, clean, simple, but don't change a word of the text, just how you put it!.!.!.!.)

I love the specifics of the comparisons, the sensory reality of them!. You know how to show us what a bad marriage looks and feels like to the kid, and what love is professed to be (equally ludicrous in the sentimental and deliberately cliche descriptions you choose), and that's wonderful!.

And you're authentic!. What you say resonates!. No one doubts what you see love is glamourized as being, nor can one doubt, for a second, what you experienced, and the way you counterposed them is perfect, well, that you counterposed them is perfect; the way, form take that tiny adjustment!.

I think this is great, and for those who don't agree, I must say, poetry is the experiences and thoughts of that particular person!. She isn't claiming to speak for the world!. I don't get that sense at all!. I like how personal it is!.

Good job!.

And, (imho) don't say on what it's based!. Let it speak for itself!. It's nobody's business!. (Besides, it's so specific, we know you knew it firsthand!)
!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it is an excellent view of marriage and love!. The thing is, not all marriages are like that, unless you watch Coronation Street =) Bravo to you! Brilliant poem!Www@QuestionHome@Com

love makes the world go round!. yet i understand why you perceive it to be like that!. but don't be afraid to be in love because you're different from your parents!. always love your parents!.!Www@QuestionHome@Com

cool i guess if that is your viewof marriage take a look at mine please:

http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think this is a weird way to look at marriage!. Not every marriage is like that!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You've said enough for a lifetime! Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very True!.!.!.!. Gr8 Poem!.!.!. Www@QuestionHome@Com