Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> How about this elegy?


Question: How about this elegy!?
I have spent time with my grandfather for years and years
He helped me when I was hurt and shed a few tears
He has been there all my life
But his diabetes and heart disease became a strife!.

He had lived a hard life
Working strenuously to support his children and wife
After many years his condition showed no improvement
He was never the same after his terrible car accident

He had been hospitalized and had a final wish
The he would be DNR so we suffer no anguish
He had survived the incident
But his disease slowly took on advancement

One week after my birthday he went into cardiac arrest
He was rushed to the doctor where a defibrillator was used on his chest
My grandfather was still DNR, but the doctors tried anyway
But at ten o'clock after years of pain, he passed awayWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
thats really sad!.!.!.=::[
i mean i like it!.!.!.but its a sad story/poem/elegy
its good though =]Www@QuestionHome@Com

Don't try so hard to make last words rhyme ; that alone does not make poetry !. I'm afraid your effort is just prose , with last syllables that sound the same !. Where's the feeling !? The sorrow you feel at your loss !? This reads like his chart at the hospital !
Think about it !. Read a lot of great poets , & try again !. All the best !Www@QuestionHome@Com