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Question: Can i get some advice on the first verse of this!?
I’m lying on the pavement
Staring down the barrel of some fool’s nine
This is my only way to escape enslavement
From my life, this constant grind
I know this could be the end of my life
I reach deep into my pocket for my knife
Because I’m not afraid to roll deep
I’ve done it many times before
Still I find myself about to weep
I don’t want to die face down on this gravel floor
Cause I don’t want to die some ***** lying on the street
I’m never gonna let myself except defeat
So I lunge out, pain shooting up my thigh
I can feel as my steel slides into his flesh
I feel myself start to cry
Tears added into the mesh
A mixture of fears
Now a mixture of tears
A mixture of hate
Now a mixture of slanted fate
That’s turned upon me
A toll that’s once again has taken its fee
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's very good!. I'm just not sure which lines,as some type of order, are to rhyme!. Rhyming words are great, the flow seems uneven!. It starts with 1/3; 5/6; 7/9; 11/12; 14/16; if I counted correctly, then each two lines!. Maybe it is a method I am not familiar with!.Www@QuestionHome@Com