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Question: Would you critique my poems!?
Perfect Day

My how the sun shines on my face
On this glorious, wonderful day

The kids are all laughing
as they fly their kites
Higher and higher
In the baby blue sky

The flowers have bloomed
The field is alive
With things that are scurrying
Trying to hide

The breeze is fantastic
The clouds are small wisps
The birds are all singing
With a cute little lisp

With in my heart rings a song
Of joys that are known to all
Of open air and carefree days
Spent flying a kite in the sun



Highlights of Fall

Red, Orange, Brown, Yellow
Falling
Down
Floating on the cool breezes
The colors swirl together
in a symphony of brilliance

High School Football, Jackets, Homecoming
Chilly evenings on cold metal risers
Cheering on our Home team

Pumpkins, Black Cats, Ghost
Children laughing as they run door to door
Indians, Pilgrims, Family
The ties that binds us together
and makes us thankful
This is the symphony, the grand show!.
This is Autumn

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Ah, both are extremely picturesque and beautiful!. You paint scenes so vividly even through simple words!.

Personally I prefer 'Highlights of Fall' as I feel it creates more of a mental image, and brings back memorys!.

You are a good writer :DWww@QuestionHome@Com

Both remind me of the MidWest ( esp!. Indiana & Ohio)!. High resolution, vivid, live colors for a picture drawn in a simple language & relaxing tone!. I like it !.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Great!. It made me think of my long lost goats!. Lost in the mountains of south east asia!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

for a while i thought i was living in the swiss alpsWww@QuestionHome@Com