Flower poem????????????

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Question:

Reaching for the sky
The sun is too high
For saplings to touch
They haven’t grown much
Nourishment is a must
Nurture with trust
To insure maturity
And secure a sense of serenity
Until the drought
Causing their determination to come out
To not be uprooted
To not be booted
From the soil
Despite the turmoil
And continue to grow
And continue to show
That this plant is strong
And will remove its weeds
That lead it to do wrong
Ever since it was a seed
And when it has finally grown
The flower will glisten in the light
That has always shone
And will be the most beautiful sight

Any feedback welcome :-)

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

hey i like it i give it a 10 =]
but thats just me
hope this helps and keep writing Www@QuestionHome@Com

Up until you mention the plant removing its nearby weeds, which I don't think real plants actually do, the poem seems to be a metaphor!. This line spoils the metaphor, however (unless I'm wrong about what plants do with weeds)!.

Otherwise I think it's a great start and congratulate you!.

If you wish to refine it further, you could try giving more structure to the poem by making the lines all have a uniform number of syllables!.

Good job so far though, congrats again!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I told you once, This poem sounds more like a nursery rhyme!. You'll give it a more mature voicing if you write in regular meter!. And that is just because you've chosen to rhyme!. If you want to rhyme then you have to summon it's comrade as well!. your theme is good, your words are good, it's just the rhythm that I find disturbing!. rewrite this in tetrameter (lines of 8 syllables) and then It'll be a worthy poem!.

Good luck,
LulleWww@QuestionHome@Com

i like it

you clearly have a talent :)
keep it up

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i guess its ok!. but u can improve :)Www@QuestionHome@Com