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Position:Home>Poetry> Would you be so kind as to review and critique today's poem?Question: Would you be so kind as to review and critique today's poem!? *****
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE, NOW THAT ONE OF THE WORDS HAS BEEN MISSPELLED!? I fear my words a banal bleat bemoaning mediocrity replete with kitch cliché askew in gender and tense… So many thoughts, like a camel through the eye of a wise king’s needle… I bundle the twig-like stems and roots of language, delivering a hodge-podge… piecemeal rhomboids, bented!. ***** Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Masterful!. Much like, a musician that can bend notes!. You bend the words with such ease, simply by commanding it!. Www@QuestionHome@Com Aww, no way are your words a banal bleat, although ickle wickle may concur with the bleat part, lol!. kitch cliché was a good one!. Or as they say in Hollywood, "the money shot!." I like the eye of the needle metaphor, but a *rich* king's needle, as opposed to wise king, would make more sense, to me anyway, given the Biblical bon mot you allude to!. This poem starts out great and then fiizzles out altogether!. Just kidding, please don't stab me with your quill!. ;0)Www@QuestionHome@Com You have a different voice, unique!. There is no need to make comparisons!. Your voice sings to the world; your words are never a hodge-podge, even when you do it deliberately!. You have the soul of a poet and like all poets, sometimes feel "bented," a word among many you have created!. Cliche, never! Www@QuestionHome@Com Never fear, beloved versifier You have set the earth on fire With your piecemeal rhomboid and trapezium!. You give cliches a brand new twist You fill the mill with tasty grist You make creative genius seem so easium!. Your rhymes all mesh with metric form Your thoughts spring fresh, your feelings warm Every single line of yours is pleasium!. [Buy thee weigh, witch werd deed yew mispel!?]Www@QuestionHome@Com You have to add music!. But they showed no corrections of any kind!. Not one!. He had simply written down music already finished in his head!. Page after page of it as if he were just taking dictation!. And music, finished as no music is ever finished!. Displace one note and there would be diminishment!. Displace one phrase and the structure would fall!. Www@QuestionHome@Com Sheep bleating in the shadow of this red rock (Don't sit there, there's **** there)!. Shear the ewes, milk them for all they're worth And sing to them but keep them from the grass!. Its yours to keep and stand upon unshod And bundle into haystacks; or pluck one blade And hurl it into an abade of needles!. (The needles that are your eyes, pastor)!. Www@QuestionHome@Com No voice in the choir of Mars is bented!. I ask myself when I read something incredibly beautiful, "Self, why do you bother!?" Then my better self says "no one ever did it your precise way or used your words!.!.!.it has value"Www@QuestionHome@Com Hi Richard!. Thank you for esplanining my poem's!. I can't seem to write it down anymore!. I am in a lot of pain, so twisted, not dark, discombobulated, unsensetenseable!.Www@QuestionHome@Com yea, what Elaine said!. I very much enjoyed the word play and sound!. "I bundle the twig-like stems/and roots of language," Great image and very creative!. I dig this poem!. Www@QuestionHome@Com I enthusiastically yell YES, YES, YES, and then fall on my @rse and tumble with the tumbling tumbleweeds into the valley of spent poets and mute muses!.!. help, help, help me!.!.!. Wandobe KindobeWww@QuestionHome@Com My doctor told me not to Picasso because it inflamed my cuboids!.!. Great piece, love the twigs, let's use them to light a bonfire of the inanities!.Www@QuestionHome@Com it sounds interesting but im having a hard time grasping what the main theme is!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Well now you're just trying to confuse the giant eraser!.!.!. You are fantastic!Www@QuestionHome@Com Mediocrity!? Never! I had to brush up on my geometry!. Www@QuestionHome@Com Who bented your rhomboids!?Www@QuestionHome@Com WOAH!Www@QuestionHome@Com I enjoy word-play, and this is fun!. I give you four stars!. Www@QuestionHome@Com i agreeWww@QuestionHome@Com |