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Question: Indigo Black- "Deeper" Tell me what you think of my poem!.!.!.!?
Why do we get sent 2 jail
Do the crime
But never wanna do the time
Why does time fly by
Each minute we live
Next hour we die
Why do i cry
2 Fight away my emotions
Gain happiness & devotion
Why do we care so much
About our race
When we know it's respect
We chase
If that's the case
Then why is so much
Time wasted!.!.!.!.!.2 get it
We concentrate on things
That doesn't amount 2 nuthin
Here's message
Get Up
Get Out
& Do sumthin
Babies gettin shot
Because one idiot
Is shootin his glock
It's not funny
Cars, Clothes, Money
Means nuthin 2 me
But it seems like
That's all people see
Life Could be happy
Life could be nice
But if we think twice
Of what we do
The sky
Would be more blue
But now it's black
Because the way
our society acts
The past u may wanna backflash
Love ones who passed
Hopin that last
Breathe & step
They made would last
4 More Knowledge & discussion
Why do kill
Because people feel
It will make us stronger
How longer will it take
4 Us 2 Understand
That there's a mistake
Does it make
You more of a man
More attention u demand
The deeper the words
So much depthness that
We all can deserve
As these answers will
Simplify your questions
& also teach a lesson
Deeper 4 moral perfection

how that everyone understands what i'am tryin to say if no one has read deeper go to my questions and you find it!. basically tells why we die 4 no reason!. how we need to open are hearts more in the words of kanye west!. hope you like it!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i love it
it really speaks out it to me and i can relate
especially around where i live everyone can relate

=]Www@QuestionHome@Com

Maybe the way in which you wrote it was a literary device, but it's very distracting to see all the net-speak and grammatical errors!. I like the underlying message!. I think it would get taken more seriously if it didn't APPEAR unintelligent!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think it's awsome!.
keep doing what you're doing man!Www@QuestionHome@Com

That was nice!. The voice of social reformer, and open mind thinker!.U have pointed out the main social diseases, which should people be aware of, and try to deal w/ in the proper physical and intellectual manner!. Ur quest for moral perfection was evident throughout the verse, yet U pointed it out in the last 2 lines!.I agree w/ U about the message there, and I like it !.
As a poem, it needs more work, but why worry about it!? U expressed Ur ideas, thoughts, feelings and all Ur concern about the society and the world environment, in a clear voice and clear picture, and that is what count!.Www@QuestionHome@Com