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Question: Can i get some feedback on this poem i wrote!?
i was assigned to write a poem on a movie, i chose Across the Universe, so can anybody just tell me where i need to work a little harder or something like that!? :) thanks!

i!.
in the end,
it all comes down to a strawberry;
a faded red speck in a field of gray,
a symbol of peace and clarity,
(seemingly lone)
proof that existence is fragile and pure!.
a reminder that
this world sings so beautifully, so fervently
(truth hidden everywhere),
still, nobody stops to listen!.
ii!.
tonight, the skies are painted with clouds,
and early the next morning,
the blackened streets
are first to speak of last night’s storm!.
This community is silent, almost serene,
And nobody seems to notice the colorless morning;
The destruction of innocence, hope and peace,
Nobody seems to remember the blue skies from yesterday!.
iii!.
It’s never been harder to accept
The absence of a tiny red strawberry,
Never been harder to admit
That nothing’s gonna change my world!.

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
that is amazing!.!. really!.!. i wish i had your talent but i'm just a songwriter!.!. lol!.
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.
a little help pleaseWww@QuestionHome@Com

i would change the last line from gonna, to going to, since gonna is more of a slang term it doesn't really work well in the poem!. or you could say "that nothing will change my world" , either would work!. everything else is perfect though! great poem!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Its brilliant!. Good luck with your writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow! That's good!.
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