Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Critique my two short poems?


Question: Critique my two short poems!?
Sight
-----
We pass in the hallway,

I smile, you’re already gone,

I see you in class,

But do you see me!?

I almost always feel invisible,

You’re making it worse,

If you do see me,

Is it the way I see you!?

You crack a joke, I laugh,

Do you care!?

Or am I just annoying!?

When you say my name,

My heart jumps,

But I hide it and look away,

Smiling like a little kid,

With a cherry lollipop!.

Do you see me!?

I see you,

That’s for sure!.

~~~

I don't like this one much anymore, and it's from a year and a half ago, when I liked a different boy!. But please critique! And please read the next one!.

~~~

What is this feeling!?
---------------------
'What is this feeling!?'

I sing along happily,

but this line provokes thought!.

What /is/ this feeling!?

This boy, he makes me think!.

He makes me laugh!.

He makes me cry!.

We tease!.

But what do we have!?

Friendship!?

Yes!.

Love!?

I don't know!.

It's not like with the last boy!.

There are no butterflies,

there are no jitters,

there are no unexplained goosebumps!.

He is my best friend!.

But is he more!?

'What is this feeling!?'

~~~

This one I wrote on a whim just now!. Let me know what you think! Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think both poems are relatable and honest!. There is nothing vague to analyze and they don't leave much open for interpretation, but I think everyone can understand where you're coming from and what you are trying to say!.Keep writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com

oo i loved these ones!.!.!. short but strong, wish i could come up with something that short but most of mine are!.!.!.!.long!?
favorite is "what is this feeling"Www@QuestionHome@Com

im honest but the first one is not so good bvut the last one is cuteWww@QuestionHome@Com

gurl u r awesome i love both of them u have a great talent i felt the same way!.!.!. word to word Www@QuestionHome@Com