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Question: Critque My Poem: Whirl Wind of Love!?
I got caught in a whirl wind of love
I fell down, down, down
And love, love, love
kept me down, down, down
When the whirl wind subsided
My heart was wreck, wreck, wreck
Now I am in love, love, love
And love will remain for ever
And we will remain together
For ever, ever and ever
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I actually really like it!. The repeating of the words is kind of cool, just try not to do so much of it or it ends up sorta crappy!. But I like this, it reminds me of a personal experience!. also, I don't mean to sound rude, but when you ask people to critique your poem, you must know you're going to get good AND bad responses!. But I actually really like this!.
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well, for starters your first two lines are confusing!.
imagining a whirlwind physically, it would take an object up - then
smash it down!. i would not leave out the details the "whirlwind" part of this love!. its important also because it will help describe why your heart is a wreck!.!.!.!.!.then why you're love will remain forever!.
I dont see the need to repeat certain words 3 times!. "down, love, down, wreck, love, ever" although it does seem to work in the last 3 or 4 lines!.
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please don't confuse constructive critism with negativity!. once you post ur personal creativity on this site asking for peoples opinions its fair game and u have to try ur best not to get offended!.
its not a good poem!. find a cute melody for it and its a much better song!. a song i'd probably even listen to!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i dont want to be rude, but have you ever heard ring of fire by johnny cash!?
your poem is exactly like that song, but lacking in grammar and rythym!.!.!.
and i dont think the term whirlwind makes sense!.!.!.
write something else, i want to see what you can do because youre not bad, just maybe inexperienced!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
the poem is not bad, and has no apparant meter, so i am guessing it is free verse!. free verse is difficult, so i commend you on your effort!. you could try putting a heroic couplet on the end to tie it together, but otherwise very nice! keep writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com
looks like its a free verse,but good!.try adding some rythm to your poems try setting some moodWww@QuestionHome@Com