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Question: New poem check it out rate it bash it do what ya want !?
These are the worst of time so hold your head up high and smile you big est and fake-st smile you can make and act like this doesn't hurt tell your self it will all be okay and you counting down the days till the clock of death strikes midnight so kiss your friends good bye and say the thing you could never say to all your family!. Oh how you will be missed and how i wished i would of made some time for you dear uncle i love you and now your losing this battle of what we call life please tell me good bye please i don't want to cry i just tell me to hold my head up high!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i think apart from like the few typos it's really good!.
i feel like this would make a killer song!. keep up the good writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Ugh structure and lack of punctuation/spelling/grammar just threw me off!.

I didn't even read it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'm very sorry to tell you this, since I understand that you're missing your uncle terribly and that you put a lot of effort into this poem, but it just doesn't sound right!.
The structure is very off (it's a paragraph), and beautiful poetry usually has lovely, flowing lines!.
It's too conversational ("say all the things you could never say to all your family" is a very weak line, although it seems to be the heart of your poem!.)
When writing poetry, my suggestion is to not be so literal!. This poem would be great as a metaphor (petals falling of a rose, rain, etc!.) Good luck, and keep writing! Don't give up just because you have one weak poem!.
You know what they say, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again!
There's your answer, and I wish you the best for you and your family in this time of grief!.Www@QuestionHome@Com