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Question: I wrote this poem!.!.!.is it any good!?
My eyes sting as the tears roll down my face!.
I watch them drop until they're gone without a trace!.
I detest enduring these days so sadly!.
But the desire to be near you is hurting me very badly!.
These few days are passing by painstakingly slow!.
Forcing the anguish inside to proceed to grow!.
That last bit of sanity I have is slowly dwindling away!.
As I realize I'm trapped in my own cubicle of dismay!.
I'm a prisoner of my own disturbed mind!.
It's just as dreadful as anyone else would find!.
I want and need you more than I've ever needed you before!.
Please help me pick my tattered self up off the floor!.
You hold they key to my whole heart and soul!.
Take them both, for neither of them I can control!.
I'll be torn and waiting until only your face I see!.
Don't let me become nothing more than a memory!.!.!.!.!.

I wrote this to my boyfriend, any comments!?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
it's really good!. some of the rhyming seems forced though, work on that!. and read it outloud to yourself every day and see what sounds awkward or doesn't fit in with the image of the rest of the poem!.
great work though, keep writing! <3Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very Beautiful, it brings lots of emotions!. Just work on the flow of the poem, certain peices don't really sound that great together, but it's still amazing!! great work!Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's good but when you said badly it doesn't flow with the poem think of a diffrent wordWww@QuestionHome@Com

i liked it !. good rhyming!.Www@QuestionHome@Com