Critque My Poem: Elephant Elephant?

Question: Critque My Poem: Elephant Elephant!?

Elephant Elephant
All the time
You are eating some food
All the world love you
You little cute
You have some trunk
That can smash trees
Very impressive
You delightful creature
You mean business
When you go to circus
You are fun and entertaining
Your earn your wages
With sacks of peanuts
In India you are adored
They worship you in temples
And call you Ganeesh

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

You are off to a good start!. I like the perspective and the playful meter, but it needs a lot of polishing!. Don't be so straightforward with what you are saying!. Don't use 4 words when 1 will do!.

Re-write it once more and I think you will like it more than you do now!.Www@QuestionHome@Com