Does this have potential?

Question: Does this have potential!?

on Sunday comma
August one zero
reality ambushed me with a horrendous blow
you came so stealthily
slitting
my throat
and lynched my soul
the seed inside of me
assimilated into a barren foal
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

sure does, its much more creative than the rest of the childish rhyming stuff people post here!. there's a ton of feeling behind this!. and i think you did a great job with the enjambment!. i'm guessing you mean today, august tenth but "august one zero" is kind of confusing maybe something that sounds more like a date and less like a score!. the last line is the only thing that stumps me!. the seed inside you is an infertile baby horse!? that doesn't make sense to meWww@QuestionHome@Com

Punctuation and grammar is key if you want to be understood!.

Talk to a teacher or fellow poets on a respectable forum if you want better feed back!.

In reading this, I don't clearly understand the theme or story of this poem!.

I'll have to analyze it in depth when I have the time!. :)

It does have potential!. Everything does!. ^_^Www@QuestionHome@Com