A poem again cause no one rated it last time. =[

Question: A poem again cause no one rated it last time!. =[

We don't need anyone
We just need each other
Like the stars and the moon
Need one another

Lets run away
We'll be together, forever
Maybe not today
But someday together

No one to say no
No one wont let us go
No one can say so
No one can say no

Nothing can break us
Or tear us apart
Nothing can shake us
And rip out our hearts

Nothing will keep us
Away from the truth
Away from the fact
That neither of us knew

We would end up
Falling for the other
And no one knew
We would end up together

its not very good and its cliched like major but its the first thing written out of a 4 month writers block!

so rate itWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Okay, so it's a little cliche, but you know that already!.!.!.let's look to the rhyme!.!.!.it looks like you were going for abab, but some of your rhymes are questionable!.!.!.even as slant rhymes (anyone/moon, truth/knew, up/other, and other/together)!. Stanzas 5 and 6 are a little confusing!.!.!.because the preceding lines appear to indicate you are already together!.!.!.but stanza 5 says "no one knew we would end up falling for the other, and no one knew we would end up together"!.!.!.where did that come from!? You might want to use that at the beginning!.!.!.but at the end!? Reconsider the placement of these two stanzas!.!.!.and keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com

Well if we put aside the cliches, this poem is just great!. It really shows what love is all about!. The lines are neat, and proper, and the emphasis on all the matters written is stunning!. The rhymes are rather basic, and could use a little more elegance, but nonetheless this is a terrific piece when all the others like it are not viewed with the retro dullness of over-use cliches come with!.
6!.6 with cliches in mind!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Who did you write this for!? If you don't mind me asking!? Obviously when we write we always have somebody/someone in mind!.

It was well written!. Be more confident in yourself!. For something that happened after 4 month's of writer's block, well keep it!

Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think that this describes 2 people who are destined but just dont know how or even when i rate it a full blow 10 and i think this is great for a 4 mont writers block i definetly couldnt do that!.WAY to GO Www@QuestionHome@Com

not bad, kept my interest which most poems don't do(so that is a lot comin from me), and like you said it was a little cliched, and cheesy :PWww@QuestionHome@Com

ill give it a 6!.!.!. just cuz sorry you are right, its cliched :P

but its still good

any hair ideas!?
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I agree that it's a cliche, and it's kinda boring!.!. but it's cute!. Whoever you wrote that for is very lucky : ]Www@QuestionHome@Com

Cliche indeed!.

Could be worse!.!.!.
Thats the nice way of putting it!.

But poetry isnt about what other people think of it!.

Its about expressionWww@QuestionHome@Com

Maudlin, Facile!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

oh gosh, i feel so bad because it's your break out of writers block but it is way too cliche!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I liked it a lot, though im also kinda cheesy!. 7out of 10Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think its beautiful =)

on a scale of 1-10:
i'd say 8Www@QuestionHome@Com

omgg!.
thats really good!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I LOVE it! i would say its a perfect 10!!!!!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

aww it's sweet even it it is cliché
Www@QuestionHome@Com

i love it its really goodWww@QuestionHome@Com

its really good
8Www@QuestionHome@Com