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Question: Poem: "Changes"!. Comments!?
As snakes shed skin, so when the season's ripe,
Through storm or scream you change to someone free,
Assume an innocence, another type,
To show the world you never needed me!.
Your dance of shift and shuffle turns again
Around the maypole: swap that mask for yours -
It's easy done! - just close your eyes and then
Let sing-song swaddle you when conscience gores!.
Today your face is bare, the years have fled,
The old skin now affords you no disguise;
The pageant file of all the selves you've shed
Cannot conceal the vacuum in your eyes!.
The music's dead, and you've no way to shun
The silence now the dancing game is done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
The poetry that gets posted in this forum is almost always atrocious, dealing with tired worn out themes and trite phrasing!. Your sonnet is the delightful exception!. It smacks of brilliance and originality!. Well Done!Www@QuestionHome@Com
ok, for starters: well done on writing a sonnet, in my opinion they're kinda tricky (though there are worse - have you see the trigee they're throwing about Y!A at the moment!?)
then: well done on writing a *good* sonnet!. you've taken a different topic to the usual on here, and i love the metaphor you chose for it!. keep writing - you seem to have a talent (and that's a rare thing on here)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Is it identifiable as a sonnet!? I'm wondering because it sets up this way for the 'hook'!. It is very good, takes a couple of readings, and then a couple more to see inside the author's free associations!. I love poems like this!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Sorry, but that is a wierd topic and on the other hand, nice chioce of words!
Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well I must say that I have never seen those words used in that way!. Hey i'm just joking it was really good!. I liked it!. I like to write poetry too I just don't like the criticizing part!. lol !. any way keep up the good work and since you were kind enough to share your poetry with me I will do the same for you!.
He whispers in the night!.
His laughter fills the air!.
His voice trails behind me!.
The moonlight in his hair!.
He isn't light, but he is my star!.
Shining bright, bright, bright!.
He hides his face in darkness!.
Afraid to meet the sun!.
And I am quite afraid!.
That he's the unseen one!.
I worry when he lingers in the shadows bare!.
Worry that he won't see me standing, sitting there!.
I wonder what draws him to the ceiling fan!.
His he a vampire or a strange sick man!?
Lol! I just wrote it so it probably sucks but hey i only had like 5 minutes!.
Anyway I wish you the best in your writing career!.Www@QuestionHome@Com