What do you think of my Free Verse Mars Poem?

Question: What do you think of my Free Verse Mars Poem!?

Mars Poem By: Tia Metcher

Rock strewn surface,
envelop in Rustic hue,
Talcum powder sprinkled,
Creating sandy dunes,

Roman god of war,
4th ranked from your Sun,
Protected by it's guards,
Phobos and deimos,

Raise your shield, Olympus Mons
Towards the Heavenly sky,
See where other martians are,
out there that you can find,

Bring me back some samples of -
Martian neighbour soil,
In hope that we can one day make,
Something rich in toil!.

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

This has some potential, but needs some attention!. I did a quick rewrite of some of your lines to give you some ideas as to how to maybe make it flow differently!. This is worth the extra time to make it shine!.

Rock strewn surface,
enveloped, rustic hue,
talcum powder sprinkled,
reddish, sandy dunes!.

Roman god of war,
4th ranked from the Sun,
protected by sentinels,
Phobos and deimos moons!.

Raise your shield, Olympus Moons
towards the heavenly sky,
See where other Martians are,
out there that you can find,

Bring me back samples of -
our Martian neighbour's soil,
In hope that we can one day make,
something rich from our toil!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com

The aliens are here, the aliens are here! They told me they like your poetry, and you can have all the dirt you can carry, it is free, all you have to do is pick it up! Cheers!
After looking at farmer's drawn picture Maybe you wont need to pick it up! He can draw! Cheers!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Tia, i want to try some of that dirt
when you get back!.!.thanks!. :)

also i libertied the sentinal job
and took care of SimonK!.!.
he wasnt playing nice!.
http://www!.omgwhatever!.com/farmer/molecu!.!.!.
his molecules are on Pluto
mingling with the ammonia!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

it sucks hella badWww@QuestionHome@Com