Is this poem good do need to work on it help

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Question:

Fingers tappng teeth clapping
I Lost my pations today
Eyes cryng my souls dying
I Lost my pations today
A human being ndeed I am
We walk and talk and breathe the same
But Im getting tred of the things you do
I Feel as if your love isnt true
I Lost my pations today
My mind is scambled with lies and jokes
I Swallowed your words than they made me choke
Feet shakng nails breakng
I Lost my pations today
Heart pumping my souls jumping
I Lost my pations today
Like milk my heart is rotten
My love is spoilng
My heads turning
My Hearts burning
I Lost my pations today

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

i liked it alot and i the whole concept!.

for me i think it would be better if you took all the "i lost my patience today" and only put it at the beginig and end!.
you should check you grammer unless thats how you want it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i love ur poem it is just perfect don't let anyone tell u different ok i am a poem writter myself it is great

HOPED I HELPEDWww@QuestionHome@Com

substitute patience for pationsWww@QuestionHome@Com