Tell me what you think of my poem..

Question: Tell me what you think of my poem!.!.

I wrote it when I was about 15!. Its called Just Another Dream

Dark, deep and delving
My love for you is overwhelming
Smouldering, sexy and silent
This love, I can't defy it
Dreamy, delightful and dynamite
Can't wait to be with you tonight
Pulse, purge and pain-staking
Unrequited love in my heart aching
Lonely!. Desperate!. Unfufilled!.
The Truth!.

Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

If you were 15 and you wrote this i would have to say kudos to you!. I like it especially the complexity that is in it!. I think if you wrote this at 15 i would love to see what you can write at 18!.
Job well done!Www@QuestionHome@Com

i can definitely tell that you are an amateur!. its very cliche!. this reminds more of just rhyming rather then poetry!. poetry is an art form!. it's a way of expressing emotions you can't do otherwise!. this is the opposite!. this is like trying to put "i love you" in rhymes!.!.!.

keep trying!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

good bit of verse, I like it, short and to the point!. well done!.

I wonder about the last sentence!. I think I would've made that be the title and allowed "Lonely!. Desperate!. Unfufilled!." to be your closing statement!.

Www@QuestionHome@Com

I found this poem to actually be a good poem!. I don't have anything

negative to say!. It's really good!. =)

check mine out please!?http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i like it!.!.!.

it really kept my attention and made me WANT to read more!.!.!.

poetry usually bores me, but this was good

and it makes me want to have someone i could say this too LOLWww@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!. It's way more interesting then the stuff I had to critique in poetry class!. You use meter well, and your rhyme scheme is nice!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

it is not bad!.that's all!.Www@QuestionHome@Com