Though it seems an easy thing to hide
The words are screaming inside
It’s not the secret you’d think it’d be
But in a way it’s taking over me
I wish so much you’d feel it too
Oh, so badly, I want to be with you
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Position:Home>Poetry> How do you all like my poem?Question: How do you all like my poem!? Though it seems an easy thing to hide
The words are screaming inside It’s not the secret you’d think it’d be But in a way it’s taking over me I wish so much you’d feel it too Oh, so badly, I want to be with you Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Thats exactically how i feel!. It sounds like you put a lot of emotion into this poem!. I absoultly love it!. ? :-) Www@QuestionHome@Com It's all right, but the "the words are screaming inside" part doesn't seem to work quite right!. The line is too short!. To follow the flow, maybe picking a different word with more syllables would help!. Poetry doesn't necessarily have to follow formal syntax but it would probably help in this case!. Then again, if you like it, that's fine!. A poem like this won't win you any awards but if it helps you express yourself, that's the most important part!.Www@QuestionHome@Com the words are really good, you just need to think of a way to make the spacing fit!. the timing is a little off!. in other words; when i read it, i couldnt do it straight each line with the same rhythm!.!.!.like for instance the first two lines!.!. the first one is 10 syllables, the second is 7, so after reading the first, the second one gets cut off earlier than you would think it should!.!.so maybe for that second line for instance!.!.try to add like!.!."The words are screaming (to me) inside"Www@QuestionHome@Com Hey sounds good! Though the first line has 9 syllables, and the 2nd only has 7!.!.!.so it sounds like theres something missing from the 2nd line!. How about changing it to somethin like "!.!.!.the words are screaming to me inside"!.!.!? Good overall though :)Www@QuestionHome@Com its ok check this poem out My First Time The sky was dark The moon was high All alone Just her and I Her hair so soft Her eyes so blue I knew just what She wanted to do Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine I didn't know how But I tried my best To place my hand On her breasts I remember my fear My fast beating heart But slowly she spread Her legs apart And when she did it I felt no shame All at once The white stuff came At last it's finished It's all over now My first time Milking a cow! Www@QuestionHome@Com Wow!. I like it but it should be a song!. Www@QuestionHome@Com This was a fantastic poem!. It has so much detail and you really created the image of what was happening in my mind right away!. A++Www@QuestionHome@Com i luv it u should make it into a song!Www@QuestionHome@Com That's actually really good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I love it! Great creativity!Www@QuestionHome@Com so beautiful it is special full of meaning Www@QuestionHome@Com Wow! That is really cool :) Did you make that up yourself!? You should find someone to publish it! Www@QuestionHome@Com It's okay!.!.!. Www@QuestionHome@Com I know exactly how you feel, this is good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Ohh this is a good poem good job Www@QuestionHome@Com it's okay!. you'r rhymy!.!.!.!.but thats okay!. it's good!. show's that you have soul in your writting! :)Www@QuestionHome@Com Wow it is beautiful, you should publish it for free at a public library!. You sure have some talent, keep it up!Www@QuestionHome@Com I like it!.!.!.very short, but those little bit of words mean A LOT!. Www@QuestionHome@Com Its good!. It has meaning and you can understand the poem!. Good job! Www@QuestionHome@Com Its good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com It's alright!.!.!.!.!.!.I guess!.Www@QuestionHome@Com i dislike sappy poems but to someone who likes them, its fine!.Www@QuestionHome@Com this has meaningWww@QuestionHome@Com its good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com yeah its nice, very simpleWww@QuestionHome@Com coolWww@QuestionHome@Com thats pretty darn good!Www@QuestionHome@Com |