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Question: A poem for today, your comments!?
My unfinished poem


My unfinished poem
Is waiting for the train of life
In the shining rain
Before my journey can begin!.!.!.

I stand with
Derailed train of thought
Terminal and destination
Unclear, as yet not distinct
The journey's hesitation
What yet might be wrought
Unfinished poem, first breath

Perhaps the shining rain
Blurs sight, clouds the mind
But I stand and drink it in
Each silver drop a tear
Shining on my face a grin
Light where I new visions find
True resolve to o'ercome pain!.

In that shining rain I roam
The train of life moves smoothly on
The journey yet may lead me home
Past the stations and the stops
Of this unfinished poem
Until the goal is safely won
And I at peace become!.

For now I'm waiting!.!.!.!.


? December 31, 2007, Albert K!. Jungers, All Rights reserved

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like this poem very much!.!.!.your use of an abcdcba shows far more sophistication than most people will recognize!.!.!.its subtlety lends a free verse air to a very structured and well thought out, rhymed poem!.
Kudos!.!.!.keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com

You know I am sure that Umberto Eco talks of an "open work" (opera aperta)!? I have always been interested in the notion of incompleteness!. I think that completeness is closure and it frightens me!.
But I love train journeys!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I simply enjoyed this, thank you!. After reading it the first time I thought the structure worked rather well, but I didn't catch that rhyme scheme!. I'm glad Kevin S pointed it out!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Life is a journey, not a destination!. KudosWww@QuestionHome@Com

While this journey lasts I hope to travel lightly, forgetting some of my baggage along the way so that at the last stop I will be able to obtain all things new!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's quite lovely!.

Peaceful and light!.
I like it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Nicely penned!. We're all waiting!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

sorry you have no flow
i lost interest after the first stanzaWww@QuestionHome@Com