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Question: A poem about the human virus, would you please critique
Super-Natural
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Bird on a blast of coke
Clear amid all the smoke
Our mutual gaze slows down time
Pass judgment on friend of foe

Ignorant to secrets you hide
Ignorance and bliss as you fly
Maturing our minds is a crime
When slapped and spat on from high

Curiosity sought evolution
Fungus offered solutions
Awareness, a gained compromise
Gave meaning to good and gruesome

Talk spheres to stick men on paper
Old man takes a child and rapes her
The victims are never the wise
Wake now or be put to sleep later

Empowered when blood is spilled
Demons confused with your guilt
Everything returning full circle
When identical life is built

Adolescent humanity grows
Respect and unity flows
Mother is eternally fertile
As only God and I knowWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Yes, mankind is a virus feeding upon itself and an endless cycle!. A virus seemingly immune to any type of cure!. Your words are dark, but also serve as a reminder that if we are to eventually change, we must begin by recognizing and coming to grips with this!. Your last two stanzas to me were exceptionally strong!. My compliments!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is compiled insanity,
a gruesome reality,
behind the humanity,
we are all slaves!.

Sights are borken,
we are lost in destruction,
no room for anything but production,
and all is gray!.

This poem is just f'ed up!.

Www@QuestionHome@Com

awesome!.!.!.you could sell that to a band or somethingWww@QuestionHome@Com