Is this poem ok, be honest?

Question: Is this poem ok, be honest!?

I see the air bubbling around me
The mirror images drift by and by
Blurriness is all I see

I am floating up, up towards the sky
Everything looks better from far away
At last I can finally fly

My wings outstretch as I look ahead
The freedom is outstanding
But then it dawns on me, I am dead
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

i absolutely love it becasue its full of depth and emotion and its making us see that death isnt ll that bad, a dream a fantasy!.!.!. being lifted up by the angels entering a white fantasy!.!.!. its also lovely becasue its divided into three litlle stazas consitsting of 3 lines each!. also you have rymed lines 1 and 3 and it is full of feeling and i love the language and descriptiveness!.!.!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

i like it , it dosnt suck, it was what you were feeling at the time, dont change it for no critic!!! write some moreWww@QuestionHome@Com

It's a rather abrupt finish and the rhythm is jerky, but it's an amusing idea!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

its okWww@QuestionHome@Com

the first and third stanza suck
you need to work on them more
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