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Question: Again revised poem, what do you think of it
This is a poem about depression!. Need help with a title!.

Trying my best to breath
Just far too miserable to scream
Please let this be a dream
Gotta count my own heart beat
Held down by anguish chains
And all the footsteps in my brain
You stole the rest of me
Wake me up when I'll be free

The clenching fingers strain
Blocking the sorrow in the veins
These promises and shames
Just thud and rattle down the drain
My one and only need
And everything I once believed
You took it all from me
Then say I’m crazy

I hold on tight to love
Praying there’s something left above
Why can’t I seem to see
The answers right in front of me
I’d like another shot
But that just isn’t what I’ve got
So walk away from me
And please, just leave me be

A passing rain of tears
To contemplate my greatest fears
Has come on into play
Why did my life end up this way
Why cry into the night
Knowing I just can’t win this fight
Must be the price to pay
Cause’ I’m fading awayWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
The depression and the heartache in this poem are dramatically clear and heartbreaking!. There are so many gifted lines, any of which could be used as a title!.!.!."cry into the night", "anguish chains" etc!.!. I suffer from depression myself and can really relate to these words—you touched my heart with this poem!. Thank you!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

pretty intense but no need to revise again! you express emotion and at the same time able to keep structure throughout!. that's talent!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Aha Lol I love your poems more! They are so good!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Pretty sad!.!.!.but thats the genre I write in too!. Oh, and its brilliant, so there's no need to revise it again!!Www@QuestionHome@Com