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Question: Poetry, please rate =]

On the table
cards scattered
colorful chips decorates
and makes it playful
There sits two players
that stares at each other
very deceitful
the psychology at vast potential
by these people, intense as the prespiration at a gun point
a feet and mouth that makes no noise
both of them at the verge of bursting out with joy
Does his confident look come from the royal flush he has!?
or is it the pair in his hand that puts the conceited mask on
I wish that i could ask him so i could just win
but his eyes deep inside tells me hes bluffing this one
"call"
and oh! I just lost all chips and its my fault!

what do you think!? thnksWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It sounded more like descriptive narration, like those TV shows!.U gave a two dimensional picture, almost static, where the end was foreseen by the viewer ( reader)!.The topic is very important issue here!. Choose one that U can make 3-d dynamic ( live) picture, w/ elements that leave space 4 the reader to speculate!.However, I can see that U R persistent, so keep on writing, and read more of prominent poets!.Look for more inspiring topics!.Good luk!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

its pretty good!.!.!. but the only thing i would suggest is take one type of poem and stick to it!. sometimes it has a rhyme scheme and sometimes its free verse!. very well written though! 8 out of 10!Www@QuestionHome@Com

poetry is an art to tell more in less words,not less in more words!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Its good, but clean it up and perfect it and then it will be, well, perfect!.Www@QuestionHome@Com