Here is an on the spot poem!.
I am typing this poem as the words enter my head!.
Links to my other poems:
Fire Of Fury-
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Beautiful-
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Unforgiving Waters-
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.[A Warrior From Another Age - made title after poem was finished]
Here he stands, a blade in his hand,
Around his head, a blood soaked band!.
He wears no shirt, his body is rough,
Has cuts and slashes, if that isn't enough!.
His skin is pale, as pale as a cloud,
His yell is almighty, almighty and proud!.
He charges a beast, brings down his blade
Slicing his enemy, with a lethal grade!.
He uses his blade in a habitual manner,
As he slices and dices for his people's banner!.
The beast falls, releasing it's breath,
As the warrior brings it to its ultimate death!.
The warrior, fatigued and covered in blood,
Falls to the ground on the surface of the mud!.
He rests as he looks up into the sky,
Wondering, at which moment he may die!.
He realizes as he lays, it doesn't matter,
He needs to fight his way up the ladder!.*
*Meaning to become the best warrior for his people!.
Try to think of this as being similar to the setting of The Epic Of Gilgamesh!.
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It shows! No, seriously, there is a sense of urgency here!.!.!.!.each line driving on to the next!.!.!.!.and the image of a warrior is well drawn!. I would imagine that the old viking sagas would have sounded something like this!.
Now, for the downer!.!.!.quite a lot of this needs editing out!.!.!.!.bits don't fit at all well!.
For example, He uses his blade in a habitual manner!.!.!.!.!.sounds like the words heard in a committee meeting!. It isn't appropriate here!.
ditto the 'fight his way up the ladder'
'He slices and dices' has a nice alliterative ring to it - but, it sounds like some-one preparing meat for a barbecue!.
it's - should be 'its' by the way!. it's means it is (you have if correctly on the 'its ultimate' line
Falls to the ground (face down in the mud!?)
Turning he looks up into the sky
Wondering when it will be his turn to die
He realises he's fighting against the odds
And soon may lose favour with the Gods!.
or summatWww@QuestionHome@Com
Its so beautiful! I'm crying right now! And I'm so not joking!!! That could be like the most beautiful song ever written or the best poem :) I love love your poetry!.!.!. I really want to hear more
Rate my poem!.!.!.!.
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same guy who wrote another poem i really love so it does not surprise me that i love this one!. you just churn out these poems making me so jealous of your talent!. i'm okay with poetry but nothing like you!. you better get published someday!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
very boring, you're a very typical poet!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com