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Question: What are your comments on my poem "Thy The Bee"!?
Thy The Bee
Behold, Rejoice
A single voice, a bud to thee
Reluctantly, the bud and bee
You the bud, thy the bee
Succumb to me
Fullness, tenderness
Thy flooding scent, too blind to see
Erotically, bee craving thee
Thy glistening petals, thy buzz to thee
Sweet ovary
“Surrender”, says me
Thy the bee, drawing from thee
Nectary, bee savoring thee
Let it come, thy beauty be
Consensually
Mesmerized, paralyzed
A single choice!.!.!. let it be
Ironically, yearning to flee
A flower to bloom, thy victor’s seed
Clings to thy the bee!.
- Gordon Lafo 2007
Best answer will be given to whoever can best describe what the poem is about!. Good luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
(Shouldn't it be - you the bud, thee the bee!?!.!.!.thy means 'of thee' -- so 'you the bud, of thee the bee'!.!.is that what you meant!?!.!.!.!.if yes, then forgive my stupidity (no rhyme intended!)
This is very clever, though - the construction is very involved and convoluted!.
Reluctantly, erotically, nectary (is there such a word!?) Ironically all sharing the same place in each verse, not to mention the constant weaving in an out of thee's, bee's, see's, me's etc!.!.!.!.it makes me quite dizzy!.
What's it about!.!.!.!.!.the age old story of man thinking he has the upper hand, whilst woman sneakily gets what she wants!.!.!.!.in this case a neat little parcel of pollen on the bee's knees!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The bee and the flower is a metaphor for sexual intimacy between a man and woman!. However, I'm a little confused by this line: "You the bud, thy the bee" Thy(your)and Thee(you) so it sounds like you are saying 'your the bud, your the bee' when I suspect you are trying to say 'you the bud, me the bee' "Thy glistening petals, thy buzz to thee Sweet ovary" (your glistening petals, your buzz to you Sweet ovary) See what I mean!? Anyhow, I really like the theme, but your use of thee and thy are a bit awkward!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Pollination!.
Just yesterday I was showing my daughter a little honey be that had great big old yellow thighs the size of Emmit Smiths!. He was so loaded down he could hardly fly away!. I love honey bees, they are my favorite bug of 'em all!. They'll let you pet 'em if you move slow enough!.
Edit: I think granny nailed it--didn't she!? I should have known it was more than just pollinating!. I feel like a complete heel!. Plus, now I know the significance behind "the bees knees"!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
You do name the characters in the first stanza!. I'm guessing that it is about them!. You have done a really fine job with your concept, executing the rhyme and meter very well!. I actually like it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I am pretty sure this qualifies as monotetra--where all the lines end with the same rhyme!. I have never tried it myself, but you seem to have mastered it!. Well done and keep up the good work!Www@QuestionHome@Com
The poem seems to be using pollination as a metaphor for sexual attraction and encounter!.Www@QuestionHome@Com