I Stay
my love
blind as justice
your eyes
blue as a southern seaWww@QuestionHome@Com
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Position:Home>Poetry> My poem to my wife, Questions? Comments?Question: My poem to my wife, Questions!? Comments!? I Stay
my love blind as justice your eyes blue as a southern seaWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: !.!.!.and!? I'm sure you married her for more than that!?Www@QuestionHome@Com Hi Duncan, I was about to send out an SOS for you!. Glad to see you back today!. Your poem has me wondering why you speak of your love and her eyes!. your love is blind her eyes are blue there doesn't seem to be a common link!. I am confused!. You ask for questions!. What is the connection!? I Stay kept as the title or I could read it this way!. I stay my love!. Blind as justice, your eyes, blue as a southern sea!. or this way!. I stay, my love blind, as justice,your eyes!. blue as the southern sea!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Duncan, I think that you're off to a good start here!. What I'm reading from the more serious critiques --with which I agree--is that there's a desire for more explanation!. Perhaps you can split this into 2 haikus; you can keep the focus on your images while expanding the ideas you've set forth!. You're idea is lovely as is: I just want to see more!. Thank you for sharing!Www@QuestionHome@Com I like how it sounds Duncan, but I keep wondering "How blind is justice!?" and wonder if there is more to this than I'm seeing!. I do like the compressed style in any event!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Im glad you love your girl to that extent, i got laughed at!.!. but love is a better drug, treat her right mateWww@QuestionHome@Com Lovely, hoping this isnt a make up poem but something from the heartOWww@QuestionHome@Com So sweet! Lucky lady to have her man write her such a lovely poem!. =0)Www@QuestionHome@Com your wife will luv you for it dude!. keep on writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com get on your knees and begWww@QuestionHome@Com |