Does my poem need work?

Question: Does my poem need work!?

Abandoned For Lies
Words Falling
Actions Speaking Louder
No Chances To Voice
Truth Taken As Lies
Finally A Word
Complicated
Misunderstood
Covered Ears
Actions Are To Loud
Lies Are Believed
Taken For Granted
Eyes Seeing Lies
Ears Blanking Out Truth
Two People Tears
Walking Away
Last Goodbyes
Given With Looks
Backs Turned To Walk Away
No More Connections
One More Look Back
Trying To Be Understood
No One There To Listen
Abandoned

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Suggestions:
1!. try counting syllables (4 or 6 ) per line
2!. Do 4 lines then a space then 4 more lines!.
(it's much easier to read)

It has potential, but you need to structure it and make flow;
!.!.!. it shouldn't sound choppy!.

I hope you work more on it, I'd like to see what you can do with it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

yea , lots of workWww@QuestionHome@Com

i think its really GOOD!. Its very deep!. I could never write somthing like thatWww@QuestionHome@Com