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Question: Poems in search of critique!?
Life’s Lie

Sighing, blaming the world on me
Constantly deceived by cruelty
Life

Face of an angel, soul on fire
This lie will be your last

Fear, mistrusting the core of the world
Hesitation is a curse that ends our suffering
Death

Face of an angel, soul on fire
This lie will be your last

Guarantee nothing that isn't free
Feel nothing that isn't pain
Kill the light that leads the day
The curse that binds all for eternity

Our Suffering

Lead me
Lead me to thee
With blood on thy hands
Let grow the trees

Give me your torment
A torment to bleed
With blood of infinity
And life of the sea

Love is simple devotion
Hope’s a lonely dream
Hear and believe
For the time to grieve
Is ours to bleedWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I find your poem interesting because, when I think I understand what your writing about, you throw a line like:

"Hesitation is a curse that ends our suffering"
-and-
"Hope's a lonely dream"

!.!.that throw me off course, but that's the good thing, it's mysterious so the more I try to analyze it, the more unknown it becomes!. It's like a cloud of your thoughts thought they'd rain down for awhile!. Others would say that it lacks impact, but i personally enjoyed it, especially the rhythmn with which you write!.Www@QuestionHome@Com