Tell me what u think of this poem please its not finished yet i just started on

Question: Tell me what u think of this poem please its not finished yet i just started on it and i didnt do the editing!?

I give up,im tired and i feel alone!.no one knows its just a dark little secret that i will behold!.im so scared and afraid because your always in the way!.its like i cant escape,but ill be strong,ill be brave and ill pray to God everything will be okWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

It's really good!.!.!.especially I like the part "so scared and afraid because you're always on the way"!.!.!. sounds very rhytmic!
I may just suggest you, in the last few words to stress out that YOU KNOW, that YOU'RE SURE that everything will be ok!. It will make the poem even stronger!.
Keep on doing it dear!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The pairing of "scared and afraid" is tautological!. You really should edit these before you post them, otherwise you are asking others to do your work for you!. Post a more polished version and I'll happily comment!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I love the flow! very nice rhythm my only complaint is that scared and afraid is a little redundantWww@QuestionHome@Com