Position:Home>Poetry> Poem i did.. honest feedback please?
Question: Poem i did!.!. honest feedback please!?
I had a dream
It was black and white
You were by my side
I was filled with fright
You comforted me
But no comfort would come
I cried your name
And you were gone
I was all alone
with my heart and soul
I whispered 'please'
But my voice; you stole
I could not speak
So I screamed instead
Nothing came out
Words filled my head
My mind shattered
And I woke up
I looked around
and began to sob
You were really gone
I had not dreamed
You broke my heart
Or so it seemed
I went back to sleep
Maybe your face
Will appear again
and we'll take place!.
i don't really care what you say about it!.!. be honest!.
also i had a dumb song stuck in my head when i was writing it and so it messed it up a little bit
thanks for your opinions =]Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i loved it
it brought a little water to my eyes
wow, it was beautiful
and i am not just saying that
and i also very rarely look ay poetry so kudos to you!
---libra4ever1004---Www@QuestionHome@Com
i am sorry for you that that happend to you and like previously said it is heard to critique a poem or story that came from your heart<my mom does it all the time> but except for the last part it was beautifully sad and i thoroughly enjoyed it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i think its good honest!. I am a thinking person as my teachers always tell me and that ment something dear to me i think 10 out of 10 to you!. carry on writing them you never no you may become famous from it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I enjoyed it!. The latter part toward the end needs some tweaking!. I am not a poet thus I cannot suggest what exactly to do!. But with a little tweaking - I think it will be great!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
There are some parts where words were chosen just for the sake of having them rhymed with some other words!. But all in all, it's a good one!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
wow that was really good!.
i liked it
besides the last stanza
i had to read it a couple times
try re-wording it or something
but amazing:)Www@QuestionHome@Com
I love it! I especially like poems that are written this way, the four verses rhyming every other time !.!. I write all my poems this way!. ROCK ON!! :]]Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's good :D!. I can picture images when reading!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The 5th verse has no rhyme and the last line makes no sense, but overall!.!.!.not bad!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It was good!! Its hard to really critic something that should come from the authors heart :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Its sad!.!. but its okay!.!.
You need to revise a few lines of it, (latter part)!. =]
Nice though!Www@QuestionHome@Com
goodWww@QuestionHome@Com
i actullay think it wz good u cant really find good poems anymoreWww@QuestionHome@Com
wow,
that was honestly really good!. i'd give it a 9/10Www@QuestionHome@Com