a red praying mantis
with a blade wind dance
putting green aphids
into a slumber tranceWww@QuestionHome@Com
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with a blade wind dance putting green aphids into a slumber tranceWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: man, I like the poem for some reason I am thinking of magic or hypnosis because of the red praying mantis putting green aphids into a slumber trance!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I think it is quite good!. I like the evocative nature of images!. I don't know why a praying mantis would be red, but I like that it is!. The wind dance is interesting too!. The contrast with the red and the green is striking as well!. The only thing I would drop is the end rhyme, which kind of blows it up at the end!. Otherwise, a fun little piece!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Your short poem I do not detest It is not the worst But it is not the best!. It lacks an ending And it lacks a start So add a bit more To that middle part!. Your poem seems broken But you need not a nurse Just more time and imagentation To fix your broken verse!.Www@QuestionHome@Com i don't think it's bad at all!. it's short, and i'm not really into bugs, but you have good word choice and the rhyme makes sense!. also, the topic is interesting, whether you are into bugs or not! it's a nice break from all the love and sad poems people write!Www@QuestionHome@Com poem!. bad!. clarity!. worse!. Learn to make sense before verse!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Sounds like the preparation for a great feast!. Great visual!. Thanks ?Www@QuestionHome@Com i hope this isnt a hiku or tanka cuz its wrong and if its not its still badWww@QuestionHome@Com really badWww@QuestionHome@Com Bad!.Www@QuestionHome@Com ummm!. it's pretty bad, man!.Www@QuestionHome@Com poem badWww@QuestionHome@Com |