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Question: Have we earned the right!?
(Again I ask this to be read as a poem and not as a religious text)
In my fathers kingdom there are
many mansions, I go to prepare
a place for you!.
In his kingdom where our Father does preside,
his resurrected son and Holy Spirit too reside
in perfect harmony!. Far well by angels is known
upon his footstool his children's tantrums thrown!.
Having forgotten all when they came to this earth
a home they once knew, being born of royal birth!.
All souls, their lives to use the gifts they had earned,
saw fit to squander, to dissipate all they had learned!.
Yet there still remain a few who remember their past,
their faith and prayers answered are prepared to last
throughout earths temporal existence; a millennial reign,
having earning the right to live in Fathers kingdom again!.
Oh ignorant the men who confess their sins on their
death bed, they have no time left for good works; so
the prophets have said!.
RobertWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It’s difficult for me to separate the interesting contents from the verse!. However, I will!. But that’s like the judge telling the jury to dismiss what they just heard from the records!. LOL!.
The verse flows easy with a good tempo!. And you have done well with the rhyming!. It is not forced!. I like it very much!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Part of the second to last line really resonates for me!.
"No time left for good works"
I think that could work as both anchor and title for this poem!. It's a long way to travel through some pretty preachy material to get to that little gem, so if you want to turn up the volume on the poem and turn down the spirituality, I would start by making sure the rest of the poem speaks to that poignant line!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well said!. L2, I would capitalize Son!. L3, far or for!? L8, dissipate seems odd in word choice maybe something like "throw away"!?
Like it or not this is a religious poem, that is well crafted!. My compliments!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
To squander one's life and then expect reward is a hopeless expectation!.
As usual, your poetry is elegant and professional!.Www@QuestionHome@Com