Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Love poem IV. Any critique?(Thanks)?


Question: Love poem IV!. Any critique!?(Thanks)!?
Love poem IV

The light of Venus, grace of the skies
Shines with brightness in her cloudless eyes
A heavenly joy dwells deep in her heart
An innocent love with no disguise

And o’er that flowing golden hair
So pure, it brings her a beauty rare
A queenly crown should sparkle bright
For she’s a goddess, a maiden fair

And surely Venus will stare amazed
With eyes aghast and eyebrows raised
At that summit of all earthly grace
That all the stars of sky have praised

1!.The Venus in the first stanza is planet Venus
2!.The Venus in the last stanza is the roman goddess!.

ATTENTION:
Would this line be a better substitute for my last line!?
Instead of:

That all the stars of sky have praised

to write:

That all the angels of heaven praisedWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Venus needs subtlety!. Aghast is horror, condescension!.!.Is not there something better!. As to the last line, stay with stars as they often imply angels and to insert angels at the end!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think it is an amazing love poem and if you give it to someone that person will be really happy and yes i think you should change the last line "That all the stars of sky have praised"
to "That all the angels of heaven praised" i think the sentence or whatever you want to call it "That all the angels of heaven praised" is much better then the sentence or whatever you want to calll it "That all the stars of sky have praised" hope the person likes it and if your not giving it to someone sorry for the miss understanding but other wise its a great love poem!!!!!!!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com