Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> With Every?


Question: With Every!?
With every breath
of my ever fading soul
with every cry
every laugh
I dream of you
but you will never know
and with every passing moment
that drags you ever away
all the tears that I hold back
at the end of each day
with every slumberless night
toss and turn, I beg
that you will love me back
yearn for me this way
and with every quiet ponder
in the middle of the day
I dream of you
and you will never knowWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Great poem!. Heart-wrenching, as many of the great ones are!.

"Ponder" used as a noun!? It's a verb, but it seems to form a balanced fit here!.

Call its use poetic license, which means "deviation from fact, form, or rule by an artist or writer for the sake of the effect gained!." (Webster's 10th Collegiate Dictionary, p!. 671)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I don't like the line "with every quiet ponder" Ponder is a verb not a noun, so you can't really use it there!. You can replace it with thought though, and it will match what you wanted to say!. Keep writing and reading poetry, you will improve everyday!. Stay Strong!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really liked it!. It tells of loving someone so much that they could never know cause maybe they didn't love you the same way or as much as you did!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

love from afar!. love it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Aww!.!.!.!.!.!.I love it!Www@QuestionHome@Com