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Question: How can this poem be better!? I need opinion please!?
A first-love’s minute

Silence muffled every voice, laughter and even more,
I don’t recall but were there people entering through the door!?
But I did recall I was with my friends, like four…!?
We entered the library through the unlocked door,
As the door slammed, there you are standing before…
Before everything turned dead silent across the floor!.
For once I didn’t care for anything else anymore,
I saw you standing, asking for help to find a book for…
But your figure distracted me from what I was thinking before…
And before the noise return to me, you approached me as,
I was stunned by your beauty only to edge toward the door!.
Then, as if for the first time hearing, I said to you, “Hello”
But you answered me “Move!!! I need to go!”Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think it is really good but get rid of the word *Muffled*

And the part when you are like MOVE I NEED TO GO!

I think you could change that too

Oh hi do you know a book where it teaches you how to play the Cello!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

write what you feel! who cares what people think of your poetry, if you like it and your happy with it!. Don't change it for anyone!. These are your feelings and your soul, why should you have to modify it!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

maybe more ryming!.!. its a good poem and i like it tells a story but its too story like!.!. try to make some rythem or somthing!.!.!. its sounds too much like a storyWww@QuestionHome@Com

i think you can be a good writer!.!. good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com

IM HAVING TROUBLE FINDING THE RHYTHOMWww@QuestionHome@Com

i like it!.it shouldnt matter wht othr ppl think!.if u like it thn great!.it never hurts for opinions but only take there advise if u think it will help!.
=DWww@QuestionHome@Com