Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Poem "Just One Look"Can you tell me what you think?


Question: Poem "Just One Look"Can you tell me what you think!?
Just One Look by Maria
--------------------------------------!.!.!.

I got my money back!.

I got back what you took!.

With Just one look you robbed me!.

You took more than just my money!.

You stole my heart too!.

With just one look you robbed me!.

You robbed my soul!.

You robbed my heart!.

With just one look!.

6/11/2008Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
forgive
and forget
your pain
and dont think
about fire
fire eats alot
and that is so true
but in the end
it eats its selfe
so being away
is lucky for youWww@QuestionHome@Com

Besides all that is so greatly honest, and meaningful about your poem, I saw one big flaw, that can easily be fixed!.
While reading the four lines (about 60%of your poem) I thought you were being robbed on the street or something, by an actual knife in hand thief!. Then I had to get rid of that
idea, and update it really quick!. To fix this problem, give a more a clearer opening verse, or simply change the title so the meaning will be clear as soon as you start the first verse, you already have here!.
I do like this poem!. I also had another, I guess, run in with a distraught feeling, after the end!. (This is what I call the after thought which comes after every poem read) I started asking, well what happened!? Was she strong enough to recover, did the guy rob her blind!. I think if you wrote a short story, or even a novel about this kind of situation, you be a best seller!. (that thought just crossed mind) Anyways, I wasn't really begging to know if you fine after the look, but still I was a little tiny bit curious!.
8/10Www@QuestionHome@Com

It sound like you were going through a fight, forgiveness, fight again, broke up, and got back together again!. You just can't help it with the feeling of love that is resistance!. It is beautiful to share with a way of love by a poem you just express!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

"Hi!",
That is a sad story of your loved one wasting your earnings on drugs!.
I put a star on your poem to hope that someone with expertise will come to assist you on making this flow!.

WELL DONE!
Cheers : )

Hellow and welcome back Juefawn!. : )Www@QuestionHome@Com

i really dont wanna be an *** but its a lil lame!.!.!.
not bad just not great!. lacks sentiment sounds good enough!.!.!. its nice,
but i dont think u were going for nice!.
did this really happen to you!?

maybe i should take it back
it is simple and that is always a mustWww@QuestionHome@Com

To be a willing victim is an aweful thing, but it happens every day!. The drugs affect not only the user but everyone who cares for them!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow, awesome seriously!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think its good :))
i like it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I doesn't take much to take it all sometimes!.!.!.I like !!Www@QuestionHome@Com