Obituary
Rest in Peace
I cannot afford
Precious luxury
I'll never cease
Too fully saturated
The bearer’s arms
Raging with fire
Soon overturning
I will never sleep
My soliloquy
Is not completeWww@QuestionHome@Com
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Position:Home>Poetry> Short poem I am working on--Thoughts?Question: Short poem I am working on--Thoughts!? Obituary
Rest in Peace I cannot afford Precious luxury I'll never cease Too fully saturated The bearer’s arms Raging with fire Soon overturning I will never sleep My soliloquy Is not completeWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: May the Lady live forever! I can't see anything to change, the writing seems tight and your last two lines are terrific!!! Thanks for sharing this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com i think it's great!. that you shouldt add or change anything too it!. ibeleive it's talking about things you're having trouble with, especially in your life, cause when i read it, it seems like theres alot of feeling!. ( hope it was the answer you were looking for ) read mine!? http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Cool!. Very descriptive!. I write short poems http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com The passing of one does carry obligations!. Well said!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Very nicely written, suiting for its topic! Cheers!!Www@QuestionHome@Com it is Passionate in a wayWww@QuestionHome@Com |