Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Short poem I am working on--Thoughts?


Question: Short poem I am working on--Thoughts!?
Obituary

Rest in Peace
I cannot afford
Precious luxury
I'll never cease
Too fully saturated
The bearer’s arms
Raging with fire
Soon overturning
I will never sleep
My soliloquy
Is not completeWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
May the Lady live forever! I can't see anything to change, the writing seems tight and your last two lines are terrific!!!
Thanks for sharing this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think it's great!.
that you shouldt add or change anything too it!.

ibeleive it's talking about things you're having trouble with, especially in your life,
cause when i read it, it seems like theres alot of feeling!.

( hope it was the answer you were looking for )
read mine!?
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Cool!. Very descriptive!.

I write short poems

http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The passing of one does carry obligations!. Well said!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very nicely written, suiting for its topic! Cheers!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

it is Passionate in a wayWww@QuestionHome@Com