Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Do you see any revelations here?


Question: Do you see any revelations here!?
Gun Shy Kisses-(+)-
# 8

Parallel gun point
we locked in a draw
Her glasses lens glared
recognition strikes!
The girl at the coffee shop!
“Who is paying you!?”
Her question would be
mine
had she not asked first
“The Banker, any other questions!?”
My reply as curt as her first glance
My temper hot on my trigger

-Slow moving in the giving of info but fast as far as what is happening… I will be posting the next few later in the day… for now, I must go…

Blessed Be in the Ongoing Opera, SirenWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Hi again Siren,

Here are some possible edits!.!.!.

We held each other
at parallel gun point
Locked in a draw
recognition struck her!.
The girl at the coffee shop!
“Who is paying you!?”
This was also my question!.
“The Banker, anything else!?”
My curt reply measured
My temper hot on the trigger

Looking forward to more installments!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

ya i like the action!
i like Todds version too!.
the only thing i would say about his
is to minus the second My on the last line
and just say Temper hot on my trigger!.
but im noone in this edit game!.
the complete boob!.
But i sure wish i had Todds help
and anyones radicalness too!.
where you going Siren!?
you cant have too many commercials!
more!
LoLWww@QuestionHome@Com

Yes I see two one is in your story and the other is the caring help you are getting from one of your fans--Todd, I think that is so nice for someone to want and try to help with suggestions or ideas! Good for you!
Your story is now getting very intriguing and waiting for the out come to see what is about to turn to the twist!! Cheers!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

"My temper hot on the trigger!." That line is a sheer stroke of brilliance!.!.!.oh, wait, everyone else is stroking your ego!. I know how dangerous that is!. I have to hear about it incessantly!. Okay!.!.!.um!.!.!.but this is interesting!. So, is Charlotte going to kill this mysterious assassin!?Www@QuestionHome@Com