Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Critique language/expression of ideas, please?


Question: Critique language/expression of ideas, please!?
Love exists only if you can believe in it gently!.
Flourishing best in the soft candlelight of the heart,
Where imperfect angles, stray threads, and rough spots
Aren’t quite so apparent!.

If the glaring solar intensity of the intellect focuses on it too often
The mind will magnify each flaw
And as harsh truth passes through that lens,
Love will vaporize and vanish!.

But most malignant to love
Is the darkness of the soul,
Where it feeds on healthy tissue until it destroys not only itself
But the host who was foolish enough
To let it into such a volatile and tumorgenic place!.


I wrote this a few years ago, and have been tinkering with the language ever since!.!.!.I like the ideas, though!.

What do you think!?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Good stuff!. I wouldn't put it up on line though, for fear of plagiarism of a good piece!. Intellectual property rights only go so far!. Kudos to the work!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really like this poem! It really uses vibrant imagery!. If you want your work critiqued, you should join this writers forum: http://authorsnotes!.info/forum/index!.phpWww@QuestionHome@Com

I'm going to have to grab a dictionary for the last line!.

Deep!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Where have you been!?!?
We've been looking for you in all the book stores!.
Please, more!Www@QuestionHome@Com