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Position:Home>Poetry> Please give me some critique on this poem.?Question: Please give me some critique on this poem!.!? A smile is a smile
My smile is my wall It's where I hide Trapping my hurt Deep down inside You can't see me Unable to find You look at me But your look is blind You stole my heart And broke it too My sanity Ran off with you My smile is fake And like your words A disguise to mistake The postponed hurt I just wrote this poem like 5 minutes ago, but I would appreciate the critiques!. Even if you're one of those people that just leaves a 'you suck', all is welcomed!. Thanks!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: You are going through pain with a broken heart Your smile is hiding your feelings!. Saying your look is blind that is like saying love is blind A line saying your sanity was taken whoever did this to you has no remorse!. The last paragraph said it very well With all this pain there was lies deceit or thinking of themself!. That last paragraph says it very well!.Www@QuestionHome@Com You certainly do not suck, and you shouldn't put up with abuse from anyone!. Like Gene Simmons once said, "Don't take sh*t from anybody!" Your poem is sincere and honest, but it isn't very imaginative!. The only part I like in the piece is where you humanized your own sanity, saying that it fled!. That was sort of interesting!. Other than that, the poem is not extraordinary!. Sorry to be blunt, I just wanted to be honest!. Even though this poem isn't fantastic, you have potential!. Keep writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com nice and its so true! i think its great cuz its a topic everyone can relate to! great poem keep writing! :)Www@QuestionHome@Com |