Rate my poem please? just wrote it.?

Question: Rate my poem please!? just wrote it!.!?

suddenly the world's a little darker,
this night is colder, starker!.

lonliness stretches to the depths of the abyss,
dying could never be as hard as this!.

the night is quiet the day is cold,
it seems my soul's been sold!.

this relentless hunger inside me,
is the only thing that drives me,
the only thing that stops me!.

where have all the good times gone!?
they've ran away with the dawn!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I think it's good and you really wrote it from the heart!. On a scale of 1-10 I'd give it a 7!. Make sure you get the beat of the poem!. For example:

"the night is quiet the day is cold,
it seems my soul's been sold"

This would be more pleasant to the ear if a couple of syllables were added!.
How about:

"The night is quiet the day is cold,
It seems as if my soul's been sold"

Little details like that can make all the difference!.

Hope I helped =DWww@QuestionHome@Com

I agree with singincu about the 3rd stanza!. The flow's really good up till there, then it kind of stops!. also, the last part could use some work!. I think you could take away the last line and just end it with "where have all the good times gone!?"
Great job, though!. 8!.9 :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Yes the poem is good,
Not so sure about what it's about,
But rhyming was good,
stanzas were good,
and i thought the whole thing was wonderful!.
And i write poetry, took 2nd place in a competition!.
I know its not first,
but i kno poetry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i love it!. its nice to see guys doing soming poetic and creative once in a while

sorry!. clicking and typing error!. theres a kitten messing with my mousepad and keyboard so!.!.!. thats how that happenedWww@QuestionHome@Com

i like it tho i give u a 8!.!.!.i guess i'm just a tough rater!.!.!.xD
but i enjoy reading these kind of poems as a pass time
it gives me knowledge that has similar experience as i doWww@QuestionHome@Com

uhhh!.!.!.wow!. youre really depressed arent you!? did you lose someone you luv!? anyways beside being a little depressing its really good!Www@QuestionHome@Com

9!.5Www@QuestionHome@Com

That's really beautiful, 10 on a scale of one to tenWww@QuestionHome@Com

are you in a state of melancholy!? wow, the poem's great!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Good! =3Www@QuestionHome@Com

OMG that was gr8t

10Www@QuestionHome@Com

WOW ur good 10/10Www@QuestionHome@Com

i love it, its great your into poetryWww@QuestionHome@Com

i have no clue what it means but it's goodWww@QuestionHome@Com