Position:Home>Poetry> Do you like my poem/song? I call it "Guess Again"?
Question: Do you like my poem/song!? I call it "Guess Again"!?
I am who I am,
Life is nothing but a dreadful game,
No one is gonna change me,
Not even your damn God!.
If this disturbs you stop reading,
If this offends you stop breathing,
Go home and start masturbating,
Shut your gap; you cant even make a living!.
I come from a godforsaken family,
While you come from a goddamned family,
If you like your God so much,
There is one thing you should remember before you blame it,
His last name is not dammit!.
You are probably more sadder than I am,
You are the one who is really lame,
Why cant you face the shame,
Hide under a rock and change your name!.
By:
LUCiFERWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
WoW!.!.!.!.!.
good job
the best i have seen u post
=)Www@QuestionHome@Com
damn that was soo good
"If this disturbs you stop reading,
If this offends you stop breathing,
Go home and start masturbating,
Shut your gap; you cant even make a living!."
haha that was so funny
omg I love it
you must of put a lot of thought into this !.!.great job LUCiFERWww@QuestionHome@Com
Well, aren't you just a ball of sunshine!. I think you might find it interesting to know that the meaning of the name Lucifer is "bringer of light!." So until you reverse your chronic irony, I am afraid I can do little more than sit back and chuckle at your outrage!.
Goddess, forgive me, but it's so much fun!. Blessed Be!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Ok i will say that i don't want to be mean but ," Don't ever say bad words about God, (Never) "!. Again i don't want to be mean but, i didn't like the poem because number one: You said bad words about God, and you used bad words!Www@QuestionHome@Com
good try, but even i could do better:!.
you need to upgrade what ever you use for inspiration:!.
crack open a few books, Edgar Allan Poe, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, William Blake:!. read them and make your own:!.
News Flash you are not the first to write about dark, gothic, or about the devil!. they go back 700 years ago:!.
a more recent exaple, "Simpathy for the devil" rolling stones:!.
hope this isn't your day job:!. go to college:>Www@QuestionHome@Com
i love how much passion there is in this poem!. this poem is just really great!. if your other poems are as good as this one then you should try to get a poem book published!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Wow, if I've ever read a worse 'poem' than this, I've forgotten when!. Not fit to wipe one's a*se with!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
No!.!.!.!. no!.
The rhyming is off, though you appear to be struggling to fit some lines into some sort of scheme!.
Masturbating is out of place due to the multiple syllables, and it's an example of something you tried to rhyme, but didn't work out, nevertheless it's meaningless with that usage and seems to be used more for shock value!.
"Shut your gap" is an older expression that doesn't fit, though you seem to be keeping the poem/song clean of actual curse words!. You have anger there, but the words you choose show you stifling it!.
"His last name is not dammit!." That does not make sense!. I can see what you're trying to get across, however you seem to have muddled your meaning!.
"more sadder" is impropper grammar (it should be "more sad") it makes you sound uneducated and seems to negate your otherwise angry message!.
It's obvious to me you have a beef with religion (which I nether condone or deny that I have some of the same feelings), but I feel you need to develop that theme separately from this poem/song that seems to be attacking a person/family for multiple reasons!. There's a lot to say when you're angry at God(s), I think it deserves more attention or a different poem altogether!.Www@QuestionHome@Com