Position:Home>Poetry> Please Be HONEST What do you think of this Poem?
Question: Please Be HONEST What do you think of this Poem!?
Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Late night
Long day
Frustrated
Sick and
Mad
Tick Tock
Going by really slowly
The hours
The minutes
The seconds
Moving forward
Very slowly
One by one
Day after day
Tick Tock
I’m going crazy
Stuck in this house
Day after day
Night after night
I’m going crazy
Staring up at the ceiling
Closing my eyes
Wanting to scream
I Feel Sad
Not tired
Late night
Tick Tock
Night time
Day time
Who cares
Head on the pillow
Wondering
Thinking
Wanting to dream
Another day goes by
Tick Tock
Doing it again
Looking at time
Watching it move forward
The day begins
The day ends
Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Tick TockWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I'll tell you now, i'm not an expert but I am pretty good at english things!. I don't think its a bad base but you need to cut and paste a hell of a lot!. for example when you say wanting to scream, just say I want to scream and when you say "the hours, the minutes, the seconds, moving forward"!? bleh!. change it to "hours, minutes, seconds by, all I feel is a need to cry!. just take what I said into effect and thing about it when you write it down!. its ok to change it a million times, but just make it right!. if you have anymore questions, feel free to ask meWww@QuestionHome@Com
it's ok!.!. not really my thing but it could be good as spoken word!.!. i would push the clock metaphor and the dreaming a bit!.!. if you want it to portray your anger maybe describe yourself as a timebomb!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
There needs to be maturity in this poem!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Sounds angry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
its good =] hahaWww@QuestionHome@Com
luv itWww@QuestionHome@Com
where u been all my lifeWww@QuestionHome@Com