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Question: Uhh, my poem!?
What do you think about this!? Be nice people, I'm sensitive!. No, I'm kidding, say whatever you wanna say!.
Let's take a trip
We can go as far into your head as you want
There will be questions, so let me in
Are you ready to begin!?
Is it dark here!?
Do you ever want to escape and run away!?
No, you want to stay here, and be scared
Is that what we've all declared!?
The green hotel
She will hold you here as a slave, make no mistake
Hallways nice, but filled with confusion
Watch your step, no contusions
Do you admire!?
As opposed to making a monster from nothing!?
You once knew everything, I can tell
What is it you want to sell!?
Time to wake up
We're done dealing with insanity for the time
You're brain has caverns, of no right size
Now, go to sleep, close your eyesWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
The poem's premise is okay, the form is clever, but it's conflicted and many of the rhymes sound a bit contrived!. I'd give it a 6 out of 10!.!.!.it was a good experiment, but the result in this case was a little short!.
it takes guts to try new things!.!.!.don't give up!.!.!.keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com
Nope, you took a wrong turn! If you were in my brain you would have been bombarded with all the debris flying around!. My mind never stops, it is always whirling with little bits and pieces of everything, some connected, some just random junk!. NIce poem though, has an unusual storyline to it!. Wish my brain was that calm at night so I could go to sleep! Thanks for sharing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
"whatever you wanna say" there I said it now about your poem "what the hell!?"Www@QuestionHome@Com