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Position:Home>Poetry> I have critiqued others, now my head must be placed on the block as well. I woul


Question: I have critiqued others, now my head must be placed on the block as well!. I would like your opinions, please!?
From The Colors Of Life
International Library Of Poetry

MISSISSIPPI BLUES
Black eyed peas and cornbread
And barbecued pork ribs,
Finish it off with sassafras
Now that where I live
M-I-SS-I-SS-I-PPI BLUES

I was told about the slavery
How you do the best you can,
Those switchin's daddy gave me
Taught be how to be a man
M-I-SS-I-SS-I-PPI BLUES

Gran' pappy picked cotton
In dem Clarksdale fields,
I played guitar an sang the blues
Bought a shiny new Coupe De Ville
M-I-SS-I-SS-I-PPI BLUES
From Mobile to Memphis
Back on down to Baton Rouge

Grits, grisle and gravy
Fresh squeezed lemon aid,
Top it top with pum'kin pie
My belly's got it made
M-I-SS-I-SS-I-PP-I BLUES
From Natchez to Helena
Back on down to Baton RougeWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Well, I don't think you were in any danger of the axe falling!.

This has great concrete detail and a satisfying rhythm!.

I like all of the regional elements and some of your specific word choices:

sassafras, Coupe De Ville, etc!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Typo errors 4th line word that!.!.!.that's!. last verse top it top!? I like the added two lines in last two verses!. Interesting writing!
Suggestions verse 1:
Black eyed peas and cornbread
barbecued pork ribs!.
Finished off with sassafras
Now that's where I live,
M-I-SS-I-SS-I-PPI BLUESWww@QuestionHome@Com

"Hi!"
You can keep your head on one condition ,you play me this song!.

WELL DONE!
Unequally Creative!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is done well!. Engaging , almost lyrical with the repetition of Mississippi Blues refrain!. My compliments!. You get to keep your head! Post some more!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

would be better as a songWww@QuestionHome@Com

Is this set to Louie's trumpet, or Duke's piano, It sings of
Ella, or Lena, Kudos!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Dude that was great! Keep up the great work! I especially liked how you used "M-I-SS-I-SS-I-PPI BLUES" in the poem, added a new and extra feel to it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You may remove your head from the block now!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

dude!.!.!.!. awesome!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

They spare the blockheads!Www@QuestionHome@Com