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Question: Newest Poem "Milk" for the evening crowd!?
Repost from earlier in day-For the evening crowd!. Well it is where I am anyway
Milk
In my lowest form
Your snowy contents
They warmed my mind
Brought creature comforts
Appeased my howling demons
If just for a moment
Headaches and heartbreak
Unattainable day dreaming
Your sweetness drew me near
I drank you into me
and I forgot my sorrows
If only for a minute
Yet as the time shaved
As did our connection
In you something changed
Your crumpled carton
Dripping condensation
Sour breath discharging
Its leaves me devastated
Your contents have been spoiled
Our time has now expiredWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I love poetry!.
everything is grist for the mill and this delight proves it! Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
really really cute idea!. make a poem about e coli or something, you'd do it awesomely!.
one thing: i wouldnt use "time SHAVED" because that sort of brings to mind a runner trying to shave time off his best!. how about: time passed, time went by, time plodded on, time raced on, etc etc!.
great!Www@QuestionHome@Com
If just for a moment, if only for a minute to our time has now expired!.!.!. Excellent transitions!. It is also about changing relationships too!. Some meter issues to me but overall, well done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
NICE!Www@QuestionHome@Com